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Election day

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Strange week. Mat’s funeral on Monday. Good turnout. I was far more emotional than I expected. Having kids changes you and makes you more aware of your own mortality, I think. General Eletion today. Did the deed of voting, as always. Lets see what changes it brings.  Woke up one morning a few days back to hear Z saying “Ansel play, Ansel play” through the monitor. He was stood in his cot obvs calling over to his sleeping brother. Stark contrast to his usual crying for Mummy, and a sure sign they’re enjoying playing together. Lovely seeing them become friends, not just brothers.  A had two settling in sessions at school this week. Seemed to go well. I just hope we’ve done the right thing sending him to a school outside the village. Hard to know. Might be amazing, but might regret it later. Time will tell. Watched Everybody Street this week. Great doc. Big takeaway: Don’t listen to dogma. Find your authentic voice and do what works for you. Understand why you’re doing something, and let
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Wholesome day

 Becoming a dad is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Before parenthood, I felt my life lacked meaning, and I would get involved in all kinds of projects searching for it. Now meaning is abundant in my life, and I’m no longer chasing an elusive something to fill the void. — Beautiful day. High 20s all day. Spent four hours in BJ play park with the boys. Had the place to ourselves as it is midweek in term time. We went on the swings, snacked in the shade, rode bikes and trikes, and played football. Took them for haircuts. They both look so good. A was such a good big brother. (I heard him say “Which car do you want, Zen?” As they played in the lounge while I packed bags in the kitchen. And he helped calm Z with dinosaur books when he got upset while having his hair cut.) Hung out in the garden as a family of four in the evening. Just a beautiful, wholesome day.  Nice to see a bubbling demijohn in the kitchen—a blast from the past.
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Elderflower picking

 Took A for an evening stroll to pick elderflowers so I could make a lemon & elderflower ale tonight. Char came out of the bedroom after putting Z to sleep, sniffed the air, and asked, “Has one of the cats pissed in the house?” Guess I’ll be drinking the ale myself when it’s ready (unless it actually tastes like cat piss)
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Lake shore ride

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Lovely day. Collected Herbie’s remains from the vets (they were very sweet about it) and spent the morning knocking an email sequence into shape. (Happy with it.)  Took the boys to Colwick Park for the afternoon. Perfect weather. Did 1.5 laps of the lake. A rode his bike the whole way. Stopped for lovely ice creams at Wired On Wheels and had a little kick about on the grass by the lake. The flip side is that the boys fell asleep on the way home and didn’t go to bed until late, A not falling asleep until 10pm. Oh well. Worth it for the nice afternoon together.
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Arting about

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  Lovely day. Woke up feeling artfully inspired; then at breakfast, the boys wanted to paint, so I joined in and painted a still life of Z’s cup. Felt good. Usual Saturday routine, then after swimming, Sarah M came round to do a half-day documentary photography session with us, which was cool. Great to see A being comfortable with her and showing her his toys etc. She even covered bed time, and A proudly showed her his bin. “When I wee my pants, that’s where they go.” Started drawing a picture of Char and Z based on a photo I took at swimming today. Drawing the water will be a fun challenge. Lovely snsm.
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RIP Herbie Big Paws

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  Herbie’s last day on Earth. Only last month I asked Char how we would know when he’s ready to go. But after seeing him lose so much weight this month and spending all his time looking sad and completely inactive with a forlorn face, it was clear his time had come. He’d lost 500g (1/6th of his bodyweight) in the last month, and when he was offered his bed after the vet had prepped his canular this afternoon, he willingly got into it and curled into his trademark resting pose with his cheek on his front paws and seemed ready (possibly even relieved) to go. I looked into his eyes as he passed. It was very quick and peaceful. I felt a mixture of sadness and relief, and knew it was the right decision—kinder than watching him wither away any longer.  RIP Herbie Big Paws, you were a sweet, silent, good natured cat who never asked for anything and always enjoyed a good stroke. I thought you’d outlast the rest of the gang, but your illness got the better of you. I hope you now have the peace
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Herbie is not well

 Worked out for the first time this year. Felt good. Let’s hope I’m out of my physical funk and the habit sticks. Herbie is not well. He’s lost a lot of weight and is very skinny with a distended abdomen. Minimal movement and very quiet. No longer purrs or responds when touched. Sad to see. Might be his last night. Gave him some cuddles in the armchair, but he was pretty withdrawn. Poor guy. Work keeps coming in and next month is looking good. Still keen to find some new opportunities and keep things fresh though. Should hopefully find some time in June. 
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