Innocence, lost


Beautiful cold Saturday. Three days without a thaw. Everything is covered in frost and looks like a winter wonderland dreamscape. Hard to believe it’s December already—seems like a few short weeks since I started parental leave with Bruno in April. The last seven months have been a blur.

The house is cold. And now I work from home I spend all day in it. I’ve taken to wearing a purple fleece robe over my clothes and suede moccasin slippers. I feel like a moneyed gent from a bygone era. Feels like I should be smoking thin cigarettes in a long holder, whiskey tumbler never far from hand.

Never have any time. Feels like I have less time now than when I had a day job. I was so disinterested at work that I felt every minute drag on. Now I’m engaged in what I’m doing and the stakes are higher each day races by. Not something I expected. I’ve found the best antidote is slow walks around the village trails—either first thing or after lunch. They bring peace, headspace, and a window for reflection. Still no new clients, but I’ve found time this week to start working on my positioning. That should be in place this coming week. Then it’s time to identify prospects, start with outreach, and sniff out where the opportunities lie. A new, simple website wouldn’t hurt, either.

Returning from Ansel’s nursery Monday morning, I drove past a young boy walking to school alone. I say walking—he was slowly ambling, seemingly distracted. As I got closer, I realised he was looking at his phone. 

Now this kid can’t have been more than 10 years old. Maybe only eight, even. And I felt saddened by this sight. Sad for him and all the other kids who have their childhood contaminated in this way. Distracted and influenced by decontextualised information on a small portable screen instead of simply being present in the here and now—in their own lives, instead of the lives of others, worlds away. 

I can’t begin to fathom how this affects them and their development, but it feels like they’re missing out—on their own life, their own direct experiences in their own world, without the influence of the internet. It must be so confusing growing up with the internet. Innocence lost.

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